WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? I think only football addicts can truly work their way around this console. Proud football addict.
About 2 weeks ago, my co-worker comes into the office and says, “This weekend, I participated in my first ever auction draft.”
“Oh yeah,” we said, “How’d it go?”
He replied, “It changed my life.”
Draft Day 3: The Insignificant Others
I had always wanted to participate in an auction draft, and when it was proposed at my job that we start a work league and do an auction draft, I was 100% on-board.
I knew what an auction draft was, but I wasn’t quite sure how it worked. I can snake draft like no other (hmm…kinda dirty? no?), but when it came to the auction, I was pretty much in the dark. But so were the other 10 people in our 12 people league. The only person that knew what occurred during an auction draft was my co-worker who’s life it changed, who happens to be the commissioner of the league. And if you don’t know how it works, click here to find out.
But I was excited. I was irrationally excited. My strategy (per the advice from one of my friends) involved setting a dollar limit for each position, and then depending on what I spent for a player at that position, subtract money from other positions so I made sure I had enough money left over for the rest of the team. Yeah, that strategy lasted a full…uhm, 2 minutes. And then I realized what a shit storm an auction draft actually is. Actually, I was also told ahead of time that the best strategy is to have no strategy. I think I’m going to follow that next time.
In my previous two drafts, I had drafted a top flight QB (Aaron Rodgers) and a top-5 RB (Darren McFadden…though, I had the chance at another top flight QB, but well, his name is Tom Brady. And fuck that guy*.) So in this auction, I decided to put most of my money into both — a top flight QB and RB. And most of my money means nearly $130 on two players. But you would too if those two players were named LeSean McCoy and Drew mother fuckin Brees, right?
*You know, many people tell me that my downfall in playing fantasy sports is my inability to separate my personal feelings from actual logic. And really, my personal feelings only come into play when it comes to drafting either 49ers or the pansy I mentioned above. Otherwise, I think I’m pretty rational (says the 7-year vet who has yet to make the playoffs…)
While yes, McCoy and Brees are damn good top picks, I was also able to acquire Wes Welker and Aaron Hernandez (See! I can be unbiased! I picked Patriots!) However, I realized I spent about 3/4s of my funds on 4 out of 15 players. Yes, I had about $40 bucks to draft a whopping 11 players. Some may say I put myself in a pickle there, but I say, it just gave me a chance to prove how ridiculously awesome my football knowledge is and show that I can build a solid team with limited funds, which I did masterfully.
At this point, part of my strategy involved nominating players I didn’t want (aka 49ers) knowing full well that someone else would want them because I had to find a way to drain their funds. Once I was able to get them around the same playing field as me, I started nominating players I wanted again.
So as you see, when it comes to fantasy football, I can come off as cocky and conceited and arrogant at times, but you know what I say it is? Just a bit of gamesmanship. Apparently, I played up the gamesmanship card a little too much prior to the draft as some of the rookies got scared by my bravado. Like, literally scared. They were afraid to talk to me about the draft because I would drop the whole “I’m not telling you my strategy or who I’m drafting,” along with the occasional “Yeah, you should totally draft Tim Tebow. He’s a great fantasy player.” But you know what I said to them? Suck it, up. This is fantasy sports here. That’s what you’re supposed to do. If you can’t take the heat, get out the kitchen. Yeah, so I also may get a little competitive when it comes to this game…maybe just a little?
Anywho, the best part of the draft had to be when Roddy White was up for nomination. He’s a solid fantasy player, many will call him a top flight WR (I disagree, but whatever)…he’s solid. I didn’t put in a bid for him, but I watched all the bidding happen. It was at $30, then $31, then $32, then $33…
Then $125. (Our budget was $200.)
Yes, I kid you not. Someone bid $125 for Roddy White. This was not one of the rookies, mind you. This was someone that knew what they were doing. He was on speaker phone and we heard him drop a fatty f-bomb.
“What are you doing?” someone mentions.
“I didn’t mean to do that. I meant to bid $36.”
“Then how’d you get to $125?”
We’ll never know.
In a moment of hilarity, he gets Roddy White on his team for $125 because he can’t take back his bid. And in an even more hilarious moment, I look at his roster, and he has a whopping 2 players on his team. Granted, the other player in addition to White is the all too crazy Megatron, Calvin Johnson himself. But he also only had $13 left — for 13 players.
So what have we learned here kids?
- Your strategy basically goes to crap once the auction starts. There’s no use in having one.
- A little gamesmanship is never a bad thing. In fact, it’s part of the game. Just don’t over-do it and be a douche….yuuuuupppp! My advice: just learn how to dish it. If you can’t, then what are you doing playing fantasy football?
- Drafting Roddy White for $125 is probably not the dumbest thing ever in the history of fantasy auctions, but I’m sure it’s at least top 3.
- If you’re a serious fantasy football player, you MUST participate in an auction draft at some point. Like my co-worker said originally — it will change your life. It changed mine.
And that concludes my 3-day fantasy draft series. I know this is like a week late, but ya know what? The NFL starts today! So this is still relevant! This is completely relevant to the time. I would say I did it on purpose (I really didn’t) but I did it on purpose because I’m smart like that.
Go football. Go Raiders. Go all 3 of my fantasy teams. Let’s do this!